Category Archives: Uncategorized

Stuff to do

June 19, 2015Uncategorizedapproaching the difficult, beginner's eye, body scan meditation, Cambridge, Cambridgeshire, CB1, decluttering, distance learning mindfulness, eight week course, free mindfulness downloads, Grow Mindfulness, guided meditations, habit buster, healthy-living, Learn Meditation, Learn meditation in Cambridge, MBCT, MBLC, MBSR, Mindfulness, Mindfulness Based Living Course, mindfulness Bishop's Stortford, Mindfulness course in Muswell Hill, Mindfulness courses in Cambridge, mindfulness in euston, Mindfulness Saffron Walden, retreat, silent retreat, urban mindfulness retreat day, urban retreat daywifi allotment

It’s often noted that our to-do lists can be unrealistic. Whilst it’s a good idea to have a list of stuff to do so we don’t forget all those tasks that need doing it can sometimes turn into a stick with which to beat ourselves up.

My to-do list has seemed so long this last year or so – it has often spanned 2 or 3 sheets of A4. And it’s the merging of the tasks that made me toy with the idea of giving up to-do lists altogether. On my to-do list there would be things to get from the shops alongside long term home improvement projects alongside paperwork deadlines and tax returns and room bookings and kids play dates to arrange and the whole thing seemed so amorphous and overwhelming. At times I couldn’t sit at my desk as even looking at it made me twitch!

I have now gone about two weeks without adding anything to my to-do list. I have been exercising my memory and seeing if I can just remember what needs to be done – emailing participants, replying to party invites, getting shopping has all some how been done by the power of my brain remembering it unprompted. I have at times had senior moments where I struggle to remember what needs to get done but it has also cleared the way for uncovering long forgotten projects like decluttering (still haven’t done it) sorting out a plumber (ditto) and resurrecting granny’s chair.

About a year ago I placed my late granny’s chair in the garden with the idea that it would be my meditation spot on sunny dry days. It has sat there ever since, the cushion slowly eroding despite covering it with carrier bags, the wood becoming characterful and mottled. The other day I saw a bird pecking at the wasted carrier bags and this inspired me to take action. Responding to the moment rather than doing a to-do list objective.

I dusted it down, removed the carrier bags, sponged down the cushion, removed all bird poo, let it dry off and then sat with a cup of tea feeling all aglow from having remembered a long forgotten plan without the help of the all pervading and rather stress inducing to-do list!

Today’s total practice time: 40 minutes movement and seated practice

My fair weather meditation spot!

Dealing with stress

June 5, 2015Uncategorizedapproaching the difficult, Cambridge, Cambridgeshire, CB1, compassion, Course, Courses, eight week course, free mindfulness downloads, MBCT, MBLC, MBSR, mindful self compassion, Mindfulness, Mindfulness Based Living Course, Mindfulness based stress reduction course, Mindfulness courses in Cambridge, Mindfulness Saffron Walden, Ross Street Community Centrewifi allotment

Sometimes mindfulness teachers present such a level calm embodiment of mindfulness to the world and their participants that it is hard to imagine them ever feeling ruffled. I like to joke that I am very good at modelling imperfection as all mindfulness teachers are encouraged to do. Modelling imperfections I have no hesitation in doing but modelling calm whilst under stress I have always struggled a tad more with.

So on Wednesday when I found myself locked out of the building where I normally teach one of my courses I was amazed to find myself feeling surprisingly unruffled. Even when the emergency contact number failed to come up with any help I still found myself smiling and thinking oh well, that’s that then.

Don’t get me wrong, it was an annoying situation that I hope I never find myself in again but I didn’t battle it or get myself all agitated, that was the big difference. There was no denial, I felt myself almost settle into the situation and think this is just how it is right now.

It’s almost mandatory for us mindfulness teachers to use anything unpleasant or uncomfortable as a way to practice mindfulness. If someone has a cough in a class we say ‘It’s OK it just gives us something to work with’, ditto if there’s a loud ticking clock or traffic noises outside. It’s just something to sit with and see what arises.

Wednesday night gave me a lot to sit with and see what arose. After my room shenanigans I got to my usual train station to find the express train I hoped to catch had been cancelled. There was no wrestling with this second major inconvenience of the day, instead once again there was a sense of shrugging, a letting go, when before there might have been silent curses and annoyance. Nothing else has actually changed, just my perception of all the stuff that happens.

Today’s Total Practice Time: 40 minutes movement and seated practice

Decluttering

May 19, 2015Uncategorizedapproaching the difficult, body scan meditation, Cambridge, compassion, Courses, decluttering, eight week course, MBCT, MBLC, MBSR, Mindfulness, Mindfulness Based Living Course, Mindfulness courses in Cambridge, mindfulness in eustonwifi allotment

For a while now I have been perusing websites looking for ‘storage solutions’. Anyone who knows me well enough not to trigger a major deep clean before a visit to my house will know that my hubby and me are bohemian at best when it comes to cleaning and keeping on top of the mess that is generated by having two children under the age of seven in the house.

I went through a stage of just binning all their art work, when they were in bed, without even glancing at it but now I cannot do that – I take notice of what they do and then feel I cannot bin it so easily. My son’s small box room is full to bursting with junk modelling projects (I do eventually throw them out but it takes a while before they fall from favour). For the art work I have bought them display folders in which to keep the art work they like with the threat of it’s not in the folder it goes in the recycling and let them sort their own mess out (theoretically at least).

But still the stuff keeps growing. And so I find myself shopping for storage solutions when I chanced upon an inspiring article about decluttering. We’ve all heard of it but when I read this article I was struck by how much stuff I have held onto over the years. Like many generation renters I have done so many moves over the years (a quick count on my fingers and I calculated it’s been about 16 different abodes since graduation and several international moves to boot) and much of this stuff has travelled with me.

The article on decluttering made me think about my books, much treasured some of them but also lots of never-to-be-read-again titles, why not give them to Oxfam so someone else can enjoy them for a quid rather than have them sitting there gathering dust. So I’ve decided to have a massive declutter, when I get time, which might not be any time soon (I borrowed my mum’s shredder about two months ago and still haven’t shredded anything as yet, she now of course wants it back and it seems to sit there accusing me of total slackerdom!)

I’ve started taking notice of my books for the first time since I unpacked them 3 years ago (my last move when we left generation rent and became mortgaged instead) and found myself wondering why I had held onto Memoirs of a Geisha for all these years – a book I read while living in Japan, it’s hardly a masterpiece or something I wish to revisit. I also noticed I had 2 copies of The Great Gatsby, one I sourced recently when my book group read it, the other has been with me for years but I have so many books I forgot I had it.

What could be a clearer example of rampant consumerism than having so many books you don’t even know what your own collection contains? Some of the books I’ve never even read, some I’ve read and will never read again. I’m not proposing to get rid of all of them but my aim is to halve my book collection sometime soon and donate those I know I will never read again to Oxfam and then hopefully I won’t need to shop for even more storage solutions!

Today’s total practice time: 20 minutes sitting and movement.

Snow day

February 13, 2015Mindfulness Practice Blog, My practice, Uncategorizedbefriending meditation, beginner's eye, beginner's mind, breathing space, Cambridge, compassion, crouch end, eight week course, guided meditations, healthy-living, kindness, Learn Meditation, Learn meditation in Cambridge, Meditation, Mindfulness based stress reduction course, Mindfulness course in Muswell Hill, Muswell Hill, relaxation, resilience, secular meditation, stress management, walking meditation, when did you stop dancingwifi allotment

We had a snow day the other week. It was a perfect flurry that made everything look picture perfect and yet it didn’t totally disrupt the trains and roads, so win-win all round.

On the eight week mindfulness courses I teach there is much reference from week one of the beginner’s mind. Participants are asked to eat a raisin as though they have never seen one before and then this continues in their home practice by doing a daily task with the spotlight of their full attention.

If ever there is something that reconnects us with beginner’s mind it must surely be walking to school with two kids after a snow flurry. The same old tired journey we do everyday was suddenly magical and exciting to them. The alley we traverse (often much covered in dog poo) was transformed into a Narnia-esque secret snow tunnel.

There were oooohs, there were arrghs, there were a few soggy tumbles as well but with the help of kindly curiosity I found myself quelling the urge to say ‘come on’ (surely the most overused two words on the school run?) and instead just marveled at their marveling. At moments like that I find myself thinking, ‘this moment, must remember this moment.’

It seems to me children are naturally mindful and we (society, parents, teachers, life, soft cops) squash it out of them, telling them to hurry and multi-task so we can squeeze all the things that need to be done into one day.

How wonderful it was to just take our time, marvel at the beauty of winter and, for one day at least, give ourselves permission not to rush.

Today’s total practice time: 30 minutes with the kids (it is half term)

The rush hour

January 30, 2015Mindfulness Practice Blog, Uncategorizedbefriending meditation, breathing space, Cambridge, compassion, crouch end, healthy-living, Learn Meditation, Learn meditation in Cambridge, mindful self compassion, mindfulness Bishop's Stortford, Mindfulness course in Muswell Hill, mindfulness in Crouch End, Mindfulness Meditation: Breath and Body, Muswell Hill, pausing, secular meditation, stress management, tranquility, well being, winter blueswifi allotment

I read somewhere recently that 40-somethings are often in the rush hour of their lives. The article said this is when career and child rearing responsibilities reach their pinnacles leaving those in their forties with very little free-time outside of work and child-rearing. The moniker Dual Earners, Toddler Twins (DEETs) rings very true for me and my partner.

It feels as though we have had toddler ‘twins’ for decades, though of course it has only been six years. And by definition neither of them are officially toddlers anymore nor twins. But having two young kids while trying to have a career is trying and frequently tests my mindfulness practice, let alone trying to carve out a new career for yourself at the same time.

Add to this mix the never ending story of retraining, which so many of us undertake in our thirties and forties because we realise we want something different or need something that fits round the kids, and you have levels of busy-ness unknown to our parents generation.

When my parents were in their forties they weren’t schlepping off onto training courses and retreats. You decided what you wanted to do at 18 and pretty much stuck with it. There are of course pros and cons to this model but in their forties I think they were certainly relaxing, watching TV and going down the pub more than I ever do!

I realised the other day, as I got in from London and had half an hour before needing to pick the kids up, that what I thought I should do was turn the computer on and catch up with emails and then head back out into the world even more frazzled than when I arrived. But I paused and guess what? A different idea came to mind. How about leaving the computer off, putting the kettle on and allowing myself half an hour with the paper before getting the kids?

Deep down we know that’s what our parent’s generation would have done with a spare half hour, rather than thinking their blog that has 3 readers desperately needs to be updated, on which note I down tools for lunch!

Today’s total practice time: 35 minutes (20 minutes qigong and 15 minutes self-compassion meditation)

Camping: the ultimate habit buster

August 28, 2014Uncategorizedcrouch end, guided meditations, habit buster, haelan centre, healthy-living, kindness, Learn Meditation, Learn meditation in Cambridge, Meditation class, Mindfulness based stress reduction course, mindfulness Bishop's Stortford, Mindfulness course Hertfordshire, Mindfulness course in Muswell Hill, north london, relaxation, secular meditation, stress management, teaching course, tranquility, well beingwifi allotment

Last year for my family holiday I went glamping, in a beautiful bell tent with the hubby and kids (then 3&5 so you can imagine there was nothing remotely glamorous about it). It was lovely and testing and different all at once.

Holidays are what get us away from our routine, from the nine to five grind of school runs, doing homework with reluctant jiggling young children and commuting into London. To stand back, take stock and have a rest is so welcome even though with young kids there is no rest, only a change of location in which you perform the never ending round of get up, entertain, cook , cajole to eat veggies, clean teeth and then usher bedwards.

It was hard work being in a tent, losing my space to practice any form of meditation or yoga and then when the children finally did go to sleep it was usually only half an hour later before it got dark.

Talking to someone recently about camping they said ‘It’s the ultimate habit buster, you have to change the way you think and change the way you do everything, from going to the loo in the night to washing the dishes, nothing is how you usually do things when you camp.’ That is so true. The practice was just being there, watching the flames flicker each night by the fire as we had a medicinal glass of wine and talked briefly before crashing out to face another 5am wake up call from our youngest and most excitable child.

This year’s holiday was more civilised – a farm house with my extended family. I had space and time to do Qi Gong everyday and meditate as much as I wanted. It was bliss compared to glamping but I wouldn’t completely rule camping out in the future because there are very few experiences that get you right back to basics, it just might be more rewarding once my son has stopped waking up at 5am.

And for those of us who go away only once or twice a year there are so many ways to shake things up in our daily lives in between holidays, from changing where we sit to watching a random film we know nothing about, little and regular changes to our daily routine can help us recognise and even change our sometimes unhelpful habitual behaviour.

Today’s total practice time: 20 minutes

The Body Scan

May 2, 2014Uncategorizedbody scan meditation, breathing space, calm, crouch end, eight week course, healthy-living, Learn Meditation, Learn meditation in Cambridge, Mindfulness, Mindfulness based stress reduction course, mindfulness Bishop's Stortford, mindfulness in Crouch End, Mindfulness Meditation: Breath and Body, Muswell Hill, resilience, secular meditation, stress management, tranquility, well beingwifi allotment

The body scan meditation has been much on my mind of late, I have been doing it everyday for a month so I am feeling intimately acquainted with it. I haven’t done it with such gusto since I first came to mindfulness, it almost feels like revisiting an old friend.

The body scan provides the firm foundations for an eight week mindfulness course. It often makes up the bulk of home practice from week one or week two in an eight week course. Often described as the marmite meditation because people sometimes love it or hate it. Very few feel ambivalent towards it.

Why does it trigger such a response? Because it shows the doing mind participating in some of it’s most doing mind antics – it judges, analyses, compares. Perhaps all good things when you are working. But when you are lying on a yoga mat trying your best to feel your big toe perhaps the body scan shows the doing mode as a tad impatient and reticent to just let go and be in the moment.

So why bother, as early as week two especially, with a challenging meditation?

It’s precisely this challenge that gives participants an opportunity to really try to be mindful. The body scan allows participants to better connect with their body. It also allows them to see the doing mind in all it’s chattering glory. It provides ‘resistance’ training. If you can do the body scan twice a day for the next week having never meditated (at least daily) before, then the rest of a mindfulness course will be peachy!

Today’s practice time: 30 minutes (the body scan of course!)

Wednesday 15th January 2014

January 15, 2014Uncategorizedwifi allotment

It’s been a busy day, contracts signed on the Muswell Hill venue, flyers distributed. Now the waiting begins. I didn’t take a book with me on my commute to work – I am between books. So I meditated, a lot! It’s a long round trip so I reckon I clocked up around an hour which is not bad for a work day and unheard of when I am with the kids at home! Today’s total practice time: 1 hour

Tuesday 7th January 2014

January 7, 2014Uncategorizedwifi allotment

Getting rid of the strive for perfection and being your own best friend are two great lessons mindfulness can teach. I saw old friends over the holidays and there was a lot of comparing – who is doing what, living where, earning how much? I listened and realised I have let go of striving some time ago. I also realise the more I practice the better life feels – can you become addicted to meditation like some people do to running? I guess there are worse addictions to have and my time on-line still mostly outweighs my time meditating, so I am not concerned as yet! Today’s total practice time: 30 mins

Saturday 4th January 2014

January 4, 2014Uncategorizedbreathing space, detox, Meditation, Meditation class, Mindfulness course Hertfordshire, Mindfulness course in Muswell Hill, Mindfulness Meditation: Breath and Body, Muswell Hill, secular meditation, walking meditationwifi allotment

Every January for the last ten years I have detoxed. It has become part of my calendar, alongside Christmas, New year and loved ones birthdays. It sits at the beginning of January like an old friend and some years I have longed to get on with it. Other years I have thought I don’t really need to do this. When I was pregnant it was a perfect excuse for not drinking so no one suspected for months! I usually do a 3 day fruit detox to kick things off followed by a few weeks of vegan, alcohol free living. By February I have usually had enough. But this year I could not complete my 3 day fruit detox, I felt awful, hungry and slightly ill so after two very long days, during which I still had to cook for the kids, I decided life is too short. The vegan part of the detox feels like pure bliss in comparison. I can easily go without meat, dairy and alcohol, just don’t deny me carbohydrates! Meditating was the one enjoyable part of the fruit detox this year, to quieten my hungry thoughts and focus on the breath was pure relief! And today having cast aside the fruit detox I did yoga, chi qong and an extended meditation. Total practice time today: 1 hour

this mindful life

delivering mindfulness courses, living a mindful life